Results and goals

Well, I completed week one on Weight Watchers (to be known as WW from here on). 

Saturday morning, I reluctantly dragged my butt out of bed.  I didn't want to go weigh in.  I stayed on point all week but, I was REALLY dreading the scale.  The new points system made me nervous.  I ate ALOT of fruit.  It felt almost like cheating to count it all at zero points!  I just knew I had done something wrong so, I didn't want to see the results. 
I pulled into the parking lot and got to my meeting 5 minutes late.  I could deny it no longer.  The moment of truth was approaching.  After paying my weekly fee and getting my new inspiring paperwork, she asked me to step on the scale.  Here it comes.  I better take off my shoes and take my phone out of my pocket first.  That way maybe it will counterbalance a few ounces.  Okay, no more stalling...
I stepped on the scale and watched the numbers flip back and forth.  Finally they settled.  Weight loss for the week.....................
5.2 GLORIOUS POUNDS!!!  What??!!!  Did I seriously lose this week?  Wow!  This new program must have something to it.

Now, I am on day 3 of week 2.  I love the flexibility of this new program and I love the free fruit because I am definitely not a big fan of most veggies.  I am really excited to see my results for weigh in #2. 
I know that results are not typical for 5 lbs so, I'm hoping for at least 2 lbs.  We shall see.  I still have 4 days ahead of me.

My goal right now is to be down 10% by our Easter production, Alive Again, at church.  I am not a significant part.  I am just a townsperson/chorus girl.  However, I did the production last year and this year, I really want to be less of me.  Being fat in front of people is hard. You really get a nasty inner monologue going as to what people must be saying about you.  This year I'm aiming at being less fat in front of people.  I don't want my fat to snuff out the light of Jesus shining through me as I perform.  I don't want my fat to be a distraction to the importance of the message in the songs I am sharing.  So, that's my goal.  And I think it is achievable.

NANERNANERBOOBOO!

Hello all!  Here I am almost a month later again!
The holidays were very, um, expanding for me.  NOT good.

I am happy to say that, I am ....on the road again....lalalalala...on the road again....

That is, I am once again on the road to a slimmer and healthier me.

I had been doing South Beach and that was dandy but, it just felt like something was missing on that diet for me.  Let's face it.  I need me some pasta!

So, I decided to pursue a plan that has worked for me in the past.

I joined Weight Watchers last weekend.  

I am doing this with one of my bestest friends so, that is a big bonus on it's own.  It will be nice to have someone to talk to about how many points blah blah is without boring them to the point they want to shut my pie hole with my points calculator.
Except, you get to listen to it too. Why?  Because you can't reach through your computer. HAHA! NANERNANERBOOBOO! ;o)

Here are the other reasons I returned to WW.
*When I'm doing WW, I feel like I HAVE to track my food.  I don't feel that way about any other program.  I really NEED to track my food intake so I will pay attention to what I am putting in my body.
*I will be weighing each week in front of a live person. (I hope!  I would hate to think that WW uses dead people for their weigh in technicians!)  I need the accountability of another set of eyes on that scale when I step on it.  I need to feel embarrased if it goes up, like I'm letting them down.  I don't like letting anyone down.  That is a motivator for me to be better.
*I really wanted to try out the new program they have launched.  It looked like something I can really stick with.

So, we shall see how this goes.  I will weigh in again on Sat morning.

So far, I am doing well.  My first day on, I didn't count points but I figured that I used my daily allowance plus my weekly excess allowance because we ate at CiCi's Pizza for my niece's birthday.  (She is the cutest one year old princess ever by the way!)  Day two, I had the flu so, my points came back to me if you know what I'm saying.  If you don't, don't think about it too long.  It's not pleasant.  Days three and four, I have stayed within my points range. Yay!  Today, I even told my hubby that I almost felt like I was eating too much.  This new plan allows for most fruits to be ZERO points.  It almost feels like cheating!

I'm excited for this journey and glad to be back with you all once again!

Battlefields of jelly

Hey friends!  I'm alive!  Just in case you were wondering...

Tonight, my dear husband gently pointed out to me that I have been neglecting the blog world since Nov.

I said, uh uh.  There is no way it's been that long.

So, I looked.

It's been that long.

Drats!

Seems I haven't blogged since Nov. 15th.  Over a month. Wow.  Time flies when you're stuffing your face.  I am sad to admit, I have fallen hard off the wagon of self control. 
My last blog was really hopeful.  I meant every word of it.  I really did.  I still do.  I believe everything I said and I know that I will win this war.  The battlefields lately though, have run red with my blood Well, blood red jelly and icing and stuff.  I was going for a whole visual "jelly soaking the lands" thing. No?  Yeah, it doesn't work.  Okay, I've been losing the battle.  There.  Is that clearer?  Sheesh. :o)

This past week, I have been back to eating a normal healthy breakfast and somewhat normal lunch and dinner.  I have not, however put a limit on the endless sweets that march past my face during this season. If I'm being candid, which I feel I should, I probably won't limit it much either.  I should.  I just know myself and probably won't.  Christmas is wonderful but, the traditions of lots of candy and cakes and cookies really suck when you are a sugar-a-holic like me!

*Steps on soapbox*
I don't really get that.  Why do we encourage people to indulge in a bunch of sugary, bad for you food this time of year?  Are we saying, Merry Christmas, come get fatter with me?  It doesn't make any sense.  For the entire month of December we are shoving cake balls and bonbons down each others throats.  January rolls around and we "resolve" to lose weight and hear quiet and not so quiet insults about everyone being overweight.  The rest of the year is a push to get healthy.  Why?  So in December we can throw it all out again and eat some more pie? 
*Steps down*

Anywhodilly....

I'm like Frosty the Snowman.  I'll be back again someday.
Or the Terminator.  I'll be back.

Either way, you'll be hearing from me again really soon.  Next time, I hope I can report that you are hearing from a little less of me.

Merry Christmas Peeps!  May God richly bless you this holiday season with love beyond measure.

A flock of seagulls and a cream horn

Hey there friends, family, and everyone in between!  Did you think I ran away?  Gave up?  Forgot that you were here waiting? I didn't forget you although, the running away part, well, we'll get to that.

This is the hard part of putting myself out there to be accountable for my actions.  This is the part where it would be really easy to just stop blogging and go on my hefty way.  I'm gonna be honest here.  I don't want to be sitting here typing this blog.  I want to ignore it until things are all hunky dorey better and I can tell you all of the great things I am accomplishing through my weight loss journey.  So, for the past week and a half, I ran.  I ran from being held accountable. 

 .....I rannnn....I ran so far away....I just raaaan...I ran all night and day....I couldn't get away....

Unfortunately, like Flock of Seagulls just told you, I couldn't get away.  God laid this blog on my heart so that I would remain accountable for my actions.  It's not a good idea to run from an instruction God is giving you people!  So, here I am.

Let me fill you in on the past couple weeks.

About 2 weeks ago, Josh and I got some unpleasant news.  I'm not going to go into any more detail than that but I will just say, it really was not good news.  I have been stressed, sick, worried, upset, sad, angry, emotional at different times since then. 

Now, before I go any further, I do want to take a side step and say, I have hope and know that God is working all things for good in our situation.  I have faith that all will be well.  God has a plan to prosper us, not harm us.  However, having hope and faith doesn't mean that I am going to have a smile plastered on all the time.  It means that at the end of the day, none of those emotions matter cause God's got our back and he holds our future in his hands. 

Here's the kicker.  I am an emotional eater.  I am REALLY an emotional eater.  I get too stressed and want to hide from it, I have cake.  I get sad or angry, I crave sweets.  I am really really working on overcoming my tendency to go to food for comfort. Unfortunately, life hit really hard and I failed miserably at it this time.  For the past two weeks, I completely derailed.  I have had just about all sweet things and carbs I could get my hands on.  I feel miserable for it. 

Since I am really trying to be transparent here, I will even share my low point.  (Although it is really embarrassing and I don't want to!)  There was one night this past week that I had to go grocery shopping after the monkey was in bed.  I walked around in the bakery section for probably 20 min at the store.  Fighting with myself in my head.  It went something like this.  I want that package of cream horns.  No, you don't need them dummy!  But, I will stop after just one.  No, you don't even need one!  But, I'm so stressed out and I deserve to reward myself and make myself feel better.  FINE.  Have it your way.  You'll be sorry.
Warning sounds were going off in my head....ERRRR.....ERRRRR.....ERRRR....WARNING....BAD CHOICE APPROACHING....ERRRRR.....ERRRR......ERRRR.....I bought the dumb cream horns anyway!


.....another one bites the dust......

I took them home, sat my fluffy butt on the couch and ate one, then two, then three, then I was crying.  Sobbing.  Enter my sweet husband.  What's wrong????  I sobbed something about being a loser with no self control.  I didn't want to eat the stupid cream horns.  Why couldn't I just stop myself!?!  I cried for a long time that night.

I'd like to say that the next day, I got up, dusted off and jumped right back on the healthy train.  I didn't.  It takes awhile to get a derailed train back on the tracks.  I've really been praying, reflecting since that night.  I know why I didn't stop.  I AM NOT A LOSER.  I was just making a bad choice.  A bad choice to believe the lies that Satan was placing in my head.  The truth?  I don't have control.  But God does.  And he will help me if I let him.  When I try to control things on my own, even with my eating habits, I end up crying in a pile of cream horn crumbs. 

So, tomorrow is a new day and I will start anew.  Like I said before, I'm not giving up this time.  It would be so easy to just sit stagnant in my bad choices and say, well, this is just me.  I know that is not the truth.  God made me to be more than a conqueror.  I am going to conquer this no matter how long it takes or how many times I have to dust the crumbs off and get back up. 

Life is hard, but God is good

Hey friends!  I'm sorry I haven't posted in awhile.  Life has hit hard in the past week and I just haven't felt like getting on here. 
I'm gonna keep this post pretty short and simple.  Not much singing tonight cause I am too tired! haha!

We have had some stressful events in our life this week.  I am a stress eater. I am REALLY a stress eater.  When I get upset or anxious, I eat.  Yes, I know I shouldn't.  Yes, I am trying to learn how to control it.  Yes, you can not build an empire in a day.  It is taking time to learn control.  This week I have lost control a few times.  I have not, however, given up.  And I won't.

Monday was weigh in day and I did weigh in.  I lost 3 more lbs!!  I was astonished and very happy.  It is so exciting to see the number of lbs to go diminishing on my lilyslim ticker at the top of this blog!

I'm not going to let our circumstances right now sabotage my success in this journey.  This is one thing I can control and you bet your butt (or mine, haha) I'm going to do what I can to control it.

Thanks for your continued support friends and thank you for your prayers. 

Life is hard sometimes, but my God, He is always good!

Booby traps

Hey all!  So, I have let a week go by now without a significant post.  Oops!  Last week was a busy week. Last week was scattered with all kinds of food booby traps.  Last week was, well, let's just say it's in the past. 

Here's a brief rundown of the food minefield that I went through.  Ouch!  I stepped on a lot of booby traps! 

Wednesday was an appreciation snack a thon for our worship pastor at choir practice.  I took healthy snacks of sliced peppers and celery with hummus.  I had the healthy stuff but, I also had a brownie.

Friday was our ladies prom at church.  I did good and ate before I went.  At prom, I made some bad choices involving cupcakes and cream puffs.  Prom was so much fun!! 
Girls just wanna have fun...That's all they really want...ohhhhh... 
Yes, my friends N, A, and I all rocked on the karaoke and J was a great backup dancer.  I definitely got a great workout at prom from all of that dancing!!  After prom, I was like a high school girl looking for a prom night romance.  I made REALLY bad decisions.  I may or may not have gotten myself involved in a one night stand with bacon cheeseburger sliders and french fries and chocolate lava cake.
*hangs head in shame* 

Saturday was my family's bonfire, chili cookoff, fall fun extravaganza.  I was competing in the cookoff so, I made my chili close to the way I usually do.  It is high in fat and sugar.  But I know it tastes good that way and I wanted to win.  I won. :o)  My sweet momma got trophies and a certificate for all of the participants but, the concensus said, I win. ;o)  I may have won the cookoff, but I did not win in my decisions on eating.  I had chili and crackers and cupcakes. 
chili and crackers and cupcakes, oh my! chili and crackers and cupcakes, oh my! 
Wait, it's supposed to be lions and tigers and bears isn't it.  Oh well.  Chili, crackers, and cupcakes can be just as dangerous.

Sunday was no breakfast cause I slept until 11:30a. (We got home at around 2:30a)  I don't remember lunch but, dinner was leftover chili.

Yesterday was weigh in day as you may have noticed.  I lost 2 lbs.  That's fantastic that I still lost after eating junk!!  I guess a couple meals of bad choices is better than bad choices every day.  I just wonder how much I would have lost had I not given in to the temptations before me.

This week starts week 3 for me and week 2 for Josh.  I decided that I am going to try to stick with South Beach phase 1 for the rest of this week and maybe the next.  Then I will transition to phase 2.  I just don't think I am quite ready to add back any carbs, whole wheat or not, and keep my will power.  I will phase them back soon.  I think I may start phasing in fruit again next week.

Like I've said before, this is a journey, not a quick hike.  I will keep going toward my goal despite setbacks.  I'm not going to beat myself up over last week.  The past is just that.  It's the past.  All I can do is keep moving toward a healthier future.

Is that all?

Hey friends!  Just wanted to check in with you and let you know that I have not forgotten about you!  I will be back tomorrow with a nice long blog to entertain and inspire the masses. :o)

I wanted to hop on here and let you know that today was weigh in day!  I lost 2 lbs.  Good, but not great.  I'll share why tomorrow.